Mike Gray Couple Counselling

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Couples and Marriage Counsellor in Kingston upon Thames and London

Are you having problems in your relationship? I can help.

Maybe your relationship isn’t everything it used to be. Things have gone wrong. Your partner seems to have changed. If you try to talk to them about it, they get angry, or they refuse to discuss it, because they think you’re trying to attack them. Or perhaps they are always trying to tell you how you need to be different. Sometimes you aren’t sure if the problem is you or them. Whatever the discussion is about (money, relatives, sex, children, work…) somehow it isn’t possible to have a sensible conversation.

I specialise in relationship counselling. I can help.

I particularly work with people who are having relationship difficulties such as:

  • arguments
  • an affair or infidelity
  • disagreements over parenting, over money, over in-laws...
  • disagreements over sex, or different levels of sexual desire
  • one partner isn't sure they want to stay -- talk of separation
  • depression affecting the relationship
  • the "midlife crisis"
  • getting over a past relationship
  • difficulties in forming successful relationships.

    Please contact me via the "Contact and FAQ" page if you have relationship problems like these.

  • Couples counselling near Waterloo

    Ten minutes walk from Waterloo Station in London SE1, on Waterloo Bridge Road. It is close to Lambeth North Underground Station on the Bakerloo Line, and also about ten minutes walk from Elephant and Castle Underground Station on the Northern Line, and Southwark Station on the Jubilee Line.

    Conveniently located for Kennington, Lambeth, Walworth, Denmark Hill, Bermondsey, Pimlico and other central London areas.

    There is also some parking available in the area, including on Lambeth Road.

    Couple counselling in Kingston upon Thames

    I offer relationship / marriage counselling at Kingston Natural Health, on Old London Road in Kingston upon Thames. It's a few yards from the landmark "leaning-over phone boxes", and a short walk from Kingston railway station.

    Parking is possible in the street, or at car parks in the area.

    Talking to a couples counsellor

    Sometimes a relationship problem becomes too hard to talk about. Perhaps when you try to discuss it, it blows up, or one partner simply refuses to have the conversation. This can be very frustrating. Talking to a couple counsellor, also known as relationship therapy or marriage guidance, can be a help in getting your conversation going again. It can be a relief to each be able to express your point of view safely. A relationship therapist will be non-judgemental and will not be trying to decide which of a couple is right, or who wins the argument. If you are having problems, it is much better to address them sooner rather than later.

    I also often work with individuals on their relationship issues, like getting over a past relationship, or difficulties with assertiveness.

    See my "About" page for more about my approach.


    Depression can be the cause of relationship problems, and relationship problems can also cause depression. It can be difficult for the partner of a person suffering from depression. And equally, sometimes the partner can, through no fault of their own, do things that don't help with the depression. A major study suggested that couple counselling with both partners attending could be as effective in dealing with one partner's depression as CBT or antidepressant tablets. It can also be very helpful in combination with antidepressants. The NHS has now adopted a model of couple counselling for depression, because of its proven effectiveness. As always, the objective is not to blame either partner.

    To men

    Masculinity today is a puzzle: how are you supposed to be these days? Strong? Or emotional? How can you be "emotionally supportive" in a masculine way?

    Have you perhaps looked at men’s web sites, “red pill”, “MGTOW”, or “No More Mr Nice Guy”?

    As I am a man, I am aware of these issues. As a couples counsellor I can help you with them, without trying to push you into a feminine way of dealing with them. Men and women often tend to have different ways of dealing with emotions and relationships.

    Other sources of support for couples

    Many good books on marriage and relationship problems are available - I particularly recommend those published by RELATE.

    Internet Forums - there are quite a number of free marriage guidance forums and discussion groups on the internet where visitors advise each other about their relationship problems. I would recommend caution with these. Generally the people providing online advice are not trained marriage counsellors or therapists - they are other people having problems, so they often have quite a negative view, and can urge people to split up. Some forums advise almost everyone to divorce! Beware of this. Most relationship problems can be improved, if the partners want to. Most couples who think about divorce but don't, are glad later that they stayed together.

    If you have a problem, such as an addiction or a medical problem that requires specialised treatment, I may be able to advise you on what kind of therapist to look for, or give you a referral to a counsellor in the central London / Lambeth area or the Kingston area.

    Please go to the "Contact and FAQ" page to get in touch with me

    Contact and FAQ page

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