Mike Gray Couple Counsellingfor Kingston upon Thames and Surbiton

I currently have no availability.
(This info up to date as of 16th June 2024).

Availability does change all the time, as people start and finish their counselling. Please feel free to enquire.

I also recommend my well-trained and experienced colleagues at Relationship Counselling South. They are all counsellors who have worked at RELATE.

Email me or use the contact form below, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

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I also have web pages at Relational Spaces and Relationship Counselling South

Getting started

We can arrange a first session in which we will get to know each other and explore what you want to get out of counselling. Often, people find this initial session helpful in getting an outside view of their situation. If, after the first meeting, you decide that counselling is not for you, or that you would prefer to see a different counsellor, I will have no problem at all with that. It is important for you to find a counsellor that you feel you can work with. And I will happily refund the cost of that first session if you wish.

If you are happy to proceed, then we will have weekly ongoing sessions, regularly at the same time each week.

All of what we discuss is of course confidential, unless you give me reason to think that someone, especially a child, is at real risk of harm.


Please note my couple sessions are 70 minutes - I find this works better for couples than the "normal" 50 or 60 minute therapy session.

The charge for the first meeting and ongoing sessions is £75 per 70-minute Zoom session. For face-to-face, I add £10 to cover the cost of the room.

Can we talk by phone before we first meet?

Yes, of course!

Before having that phone conversation, I always want to make sure I have time set aside, phone charged up, and a quiet place for a private discussion. So please either use the contact form or email me, to arrange a time to talk.

How many sessions will we need?

This varies a lot. Bad relationship habits build up over time, and can get very ingrained. They can take quite a long time to change. There can also sometimes be complicating factors like other people involved, or difficult life histories. It's not possible to give a figure in advance as to how many sessions will be needed.

A lot of the best research studies on therapy say that typically six months is needed before real change is achieved, and that agrees with my own experience. However, with goodwill, some problems can be resolved more quickly. On the other hand, some couples like to keep coming, to have a safe space for discussion and exploration, for a longer time. I always encourage couples to think about what needs to change, so that we can be aiming towards where they are able to resolve problems on their own.

Can we see you if one of us is already having counselling or therapy?

We will need to talk about this, but in brief, my answer is yes, if the other counsellor or therapist is aware of it and agrees. It is up to you how much you disclose of what happens in your individual therapy. The only situation I would caution you about is if your individual therapist or counsellor is suggesting that you should end the relationship, in which case we would be working at cross purposes.

Can I see you individually?

I do sometimes offer individual counselling to men, on relationship issues specifically.

Can we get counselling via phone or the internet?

I see couples online using Zoom. I don’t do couple counselling by phone -- I have not found a satisfactory way of arranging it where I can see both partner's faces as they talk.

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